> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://thelighthouselibrary.co/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Anatomy of a viral essay - URL: https://thelighthouselibrary.co/anatomy-of-a-viral-essay/ - Published: 2026-01-12T09:10:05.000Z - Updated: 2026-08-28T09:38:49.000Z - Description: Here’s what we can learn from Chanté Joseph’s viral piece about making strong arguments that get heard - Author: Ely Bakouche - Tags: Core ideas, Newsletter, #Migrated-1787909873033, #Import 2026-08-28 11:38 *Welcome to the lighthouse library! In this publication,* [*we broke up with content marketing*](https://thelighthouselibrary.co/breaking-up-with-content-marketing/) *and we now explore how to hit the publish button in a way that feels creatively and professionally fulfilling. I’m your lighthouse keeper, editor, and publishing consultant, Ely :) Happy reading!* --- ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/81/e2/81e297df-ae1e-4000-a8bd-230e72c347a3/content/images/2026/08/78bff345-9f91-4284-98f5-280b4a382caf_1200x700-3.png) I try hard to live under a rock these days. I have deleted social media off my phone – including Substack, which is the hardest one to remove – and I usually leave the Guardian’s home page as quickly as I’ve entered it in a state of panic. I’d like to say that I dedicate time every week to a long read to understand the latest chaos our world has gone through, but I have a small child and limited mental and emotional capacity, so that is more of an aspiration rather than my reality. So when content goes viral, I tend to miss it. The kind of virality I’m aware of usually happens through Substack rather than Instagram or TikTok. That’s exactly how Chanté Joseph’s essay *Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now?* was brought to my attention last October. Now, I’m not the right audience for this piece. I have been in a relationship for 10 years and have a toddler. The boyfriend conversation isn’t really relevant to me; I’m much more likely to read a piece on [how the creator economy screws mother creators over](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/22/youtube-creator-creativity-mental-health-baby?ref=thelighthouselibrary.co), [a list of anti-capitalist self-care ideas](https://substack.com/home/post/p-172465883?ref=thelighthouselibrary.co), or perhaps [an essay about the rise in community sauna as third spaces](https://substack.com/home/post/p-181410812?ref=thelighthouselibrary.co). And yet, here I was, on a gloomy November morning, with arguably much higher priorities on my to-do list – googling whether having a boyfriend is embarrassing now. # Why Chanté Joseph’s essay got everyone reading – and debating I do not presume to understand the mighty laws of virality. From a content consumer perspective, it all feels unpredictable. The outlet Chanté Joseph’s essay was published on – British Vogue – as well as the author’s pre-existing public profile as an award-winning podcast and UK TV host and practiced cultural commentator certainly played a part in it. But if I put my editor hat on, I can identify many good reasons why this piece of writing caught so much attention in an era where easily digestible, visual, and loud content is king. So let’s look at the anatomy of Chanté Joseph’s essay to see what we can learn from it. First, we’ll look at its head (the tension it’s exploring), then its heart (the sources and perspectives it brings in), before moving on to its lungs (the writer’s voice), and finally its feet (what made it stand proud). [Subscribe](#/portal/signup) ## Head: Explore a core, relatable tension from a unique angle (opinion) If we boil it down to a statement, the title of the essay is a successful hook rather than what it really is about. Embarrassment is nothing if not defined by a society’s cultural norms, and the question imposes a strong emotion on a familiar experience. It’s the 21st century, and women can and want to be independent. While women’s rights are under threat again in the West, we have enjoyed more freedom than we have in past centuries. But, it seems we are still not free from the yoke of gendered, societal expectations: It is now uncool and “loser-ish” to be in a heterosexual partnership because it is too normative. Chanté Joseph didn’t only explore this. I can think of five of my favorite journalists and content creators who look at The Modern Heterosexual Relationship™ from different angles. Hers is at a unique intersection where feminism and the digital world meet: heterosexual women’s condition within content creation, social media, and existing in those public spaces. By doing so, she is also naming a shift in trends: While it had been rewarded to make having a boyfriend your identity on social media, higher social status is now awarded to the single woman, or the straight woman who hides her relationship. This is linked to a broader, bigger shift: As the author writes, other sexualities have long been politicized, and now being a straight woman stopped being a non-topic. Heterosexual women are being judged for their relationship status, too. And whether you are on TikTok, Substack, or trying hard to live your life under a rock, in a relationship, happily single, or anything in between, that is still a tension women can relate to. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/81/e2/81e297df-ae1e-4000-a8bd-230e72c347a3/content/images/2026/08/1d0c73e1-64f4-45ec-b965-acb6083bd398_1200x700.png) ## Heart: Infuse it with relevant human experience (sources) What makes the writer’s piece stronger, for this particular context, is that she brought in different voices to add layers to her argument. Now, she didn’t use the latest social studies or interview university professors to make an intellectual point. She also didn’t link to news outlets. Her goal was to give a trend, a shift a voice – and she did. She used the very tension and the unique intersection of her angle to steer the decisions she made on the sources she included. She encapsulated the essence of an argument on public discourse with…public discourse. She interviewed relevant people within the content creation space, like Stephanie Yeboah (author and Vogue contributor) and Sophie Milner (content creator). She asked her Instagram audience why they didn’t post their boyfriends online – and used their direct quotes within her piece. She mentioned a podcast episode on the same topic, comparing the hosts’ thoughts (having a boyfriend is lame) against their situations (both partnered up). She even used the comments under the episode to illustrate her point. She had been noticing a trend, and helped the reader see it too. It didn’t hurt that it was channeling some of Carrie Bradshaw’s energy from Sex and the City. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/81/e2/81e297df-ae1e-4000-a8bd-230e72c347a3/content/images/2026/08/9adaa415-58ed-425d-9001-b6de46d961fd_1200x700.png) ## Lungs: Breathe in a healthy dose of personality (voice) Chanté’s voice is strong, and it shows. It’s in the way she starts the article by mentioning her “liberal use of the mute button,” in her choice of the term “hard-launching” to describe the way public figures make a relationship official. The author is comfortable in pop culture environments, and it shows in the way she confidently moves between her sources and draws patterns from her observations. I will caveat, though, that her piece was most definitely edited to make it more Vogue-friendly – she doesn’t sound *exactly* like she does in the piece on her socials. Who knows the extent of editing that was done or the changes the Vogue staff made to the article to match the attention span of a present-day digital reader? I guess we’ll never know. Now, if I’d been Chanté’s editor, I’d have pushed for an extra paragraph or two on another side of the argument: What does it mean to be a heterosexual woman who wants to find love and who might be pressured not to pursue it because it is “fundamentally uncool” to do so? And, would she be comfortable sharing her experience – being a woman in the public eye and having her romantic life judged based on the latest trend? [Subscribe now](#/portal/signup) ## Feet: Make it stand proud (reach) I would love to live in a world where algorithms can identify good ideas, high-quality writing and put them in front of the reader who would find them beneficial and relevant. It would make our lives easier. But it would be remiss of me to ignore the very fabric of our digital world – busy and unpredictable. This leaves us with no choice but to be proud of the ideas we put out there – which is exactly what Chanté and Vogue did. The piece was relayed on social media, and when it gained traction, the author kept using that traction and kept talking about it. Vogue went on to publish the piece in 11 regions, and the article started a real debate that took on a shape of its own. Vogue also made more content with Chanté Joseph for their socials, using reactions and new topics, like singlehood, and she even wrote a follow-up piece about what the reaction says about the trend. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/81/e2/81e297df-ae1e-4000-a8bd-230e72c347a3/content/images/2026/08/a78fda01-640c-49c9-9a5f-8536252d16fc_1200x700.png) # Closing thoughts Chanté Joseph’s essay illustrates that a) people still read and b) even when you’re trying your hardest to live under a rock, a great piece of writing might still come knocking on your door. Beyond virality, what this essay shows is that there is still space online to share our authentic voices, opinions, and in ways that are unique to us as human beings. Each piece of writing that blends the many wonderful parts of you – your perspective, the intersection of topics you write about, the way your experience anchors your opinion, the words you choose, and the creativity you infuse your writing with – is worth sharing. That blend will have an impact on the reader, whether it’s 10 or 10,000\. Those 10 people would still love to read your writing – and that won’t happen if you don’t hit publish. Virality is also a recent word – it was first used to refer to internet content “going viral” in the early 2000s. Does that mean that every film, book, or article that was published before then wasn’t relevant because the concept itself didn’t even exist? I wonder what Virginia Woolf or Maya Angelou would have to say about this. **Write that essay. Hit that publish button. Tell your friends, family, and your digital ecosystem about it. The world will be richer for it!** ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/81/e2/81e297df-ae1e-4000-a8bd-230e72c347a3/content/images/2026/08/ab2bfbf3-c2c2-4cd3-9e60-88e741d8ccb0_1200x700.png) 💭 Reflections prompts to spark ideas 💡 - Did you read [Chanté Joseph’s essay](https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-now?ref=thelighthouselibrary.co)? If so, what did you find the most compelling? - Do you think about virality when you’re writing? Does that impact whether you hit the publish button? - Is sparking a conversation through your writing a goal of yours? What kind of conversations would you love to start or contribute to? [Leave a comment](#ghost-comments-root) Next time you’ll hear from me, we’ll talk about getting an “80% done” piece ready for publication – with a special invitation to send me a piece so I can edit it. Get your “to edit” folder out and ready! I can’t wait to read your submissions! Until then, Happy sailing! Ely Thanks for reading! If the ideas in this essay resonated, share it with someone who could benefit, too. ### Want to learn to share your opinions and stories without "a niche” or content marketing best practices? Stick around :) ### [Subscribe now](#/portal/signup) ### --- *The lighthouse library is being built as I write and experiment. If my ideas resonate, you can let me know by *liking*, *commenting* your thoughts, *sharing*, *subscribing*, and pledging to become a paid subscriber for as little as 5€ per month. Thank you for supporting my work!* --- This post was edited by Jordan Parker.